We Might Not Make It Home Tonight
by deepoceaneyes
Summary: They say pain makes you strong. But what if the one who is hurting, is the one who gives you strength? TWO SHOT.   WARNING: Tragic with heavy angst.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: While working on my other story, _Shadows_, I was listening to _Get Up_ by Barcelona, and I suddenly started to cry. That song is so beautiful. Truly. To me that song is about a man who is suffering for the woman he loves. Suffering because she is suffering. And I thought of Damon...and his eternal love for Elena. This is the story of that love and that pain. I do not guarantee a happy ending.

**We Might Not Make It Home Tonight**

Dedicated to the anyone who has ever lost someone they loved.

**PROLOGUE**

"I'm leaving."

He stared at her as she entered into the cramped, but homey, living room, setting down a heavy suitcase before him.

Her hair hung down her back in a tight, plaited braid—a different look than her usual loose waves—and had her thick yellow raincoat on; it was her absolute favorite piece of clothing.

His penetrating blue eyes searched her beautiful face carefully.

"Leaving? Are you going on another business trip? Want me to come-" He asked, though he already knew the answer.

"No," she interrupted harshly. "I'm not going on a business trip," she said, her eyes averting his intense gaze.

"Then, are you going to visit your brother?" he asked, his heart suddenly filling with dread.

"You know I'm not," she said, her brown eyes welling up with tears.

He attempted to close the space between them by wrapping his arms around her but she pushed him away and took several steps back.

"Don't-don't touch me! Don't even get near me!" She said, her voice high and frantic.

His eyes widened in shock. The look of horror on her face—she almost seemed afraid of him!

Of course, she used to have all the reason in the world too but not now, not anymore. She couldn't be.

"Elena," he said gently, taking a couple cautious steps towards her. "Why in the world are you trembling dear?"

Upon feeling his cool hand graze her cheek, Elena felt a piercing shiver run down her entire body. She pushed his hand away and wiped her tears away angrily.

"B-b-because," she stuttered. "Because you're going to hurt me!"

Damon gaped at her. His face ranged in emotions-from anger to sadness, from confusion to love.

"How could you say that?" He spit out, harsher than he intended. "I LOVE you Elena. I would die before hurting you!" He let out a deep sigh before he softly said, "You're everything to me…"

She looked up at him through her wet eyelashes and whispered, "Yes Damon. You're hurting me right now, you have no idea how much…"

Elena shook her head furiously as fresh tears poured out down her face. Her mascara had begun to run and she was sniffling rather loudly.

Damon still thought her the most gorgeous creature he had ever laid eyes on.

"I-I hate you! I hate you Damon!" She screamed loudly, her eyes blazing.

Damon was confused. So confused.

Everything had been so perfect.

They were together, after all the odds against them, they were together, happy and madly, passionately in love.

Just last night they had made love and it had been the most amazing, most earth shattering, most incredible thing he had ever experienced. At the end of that wild night, Elena had cuddled up on his bare chest and repeated over and over again how much she loved him. She had made him promise—made him swear—that he would never forget how much.

Then, he had come home after work and this happened.

He stared at her—her lithe, small body emitting such a fierce anger that Damon wondered if _he_ should be the one afraid.

He came to the immediate conclusion that yes, he should be.

She stared at him—his strong, well-toned body had never seemed so small, so fragile. His entire being released such an immense surge of love and Elena knew he was vulnerable.

She buttoned up the last button of her jacket, picked up her suitcase and walked towards the front door.

Damon's feet were nailed to the carpet—she wouldn't leave, she couldn't leave.

He loved her.

She loved him.

She paused before turning the handle and turned her head around.

For one fleeting second, Damon thought she was going to drop her things and run towards him. But the next second, her small perfect face stiffened and she glared at him coldly.

"Goodbye Damon. Don't come looking for me."

And she left—slamming the door as she did.

Why couldn't he move?

Because she was coming back.

He knew she would.

She had too.

They've had worse fights, much worse and they've always made it through.

But, Damon suddenly realized, they hadn't fought this time…

Damon hadn't done anything reckless, their lives weren't in danger…why had she been so angry?

His legs gave out from standing so stiffly and he ran outside.

He looked down both ends of the street.

No Elena.

Damon ran his fingers through his hair.

She'd be back.

No doubt some ex-girlfriend of his had crossed her path and made up some stupid lie to separate them.

Yes, that's definitely what happened, Damon assured himself.

"She'll be back," Damon whispered. "She'll come back home to me…"

**MONTH 1**

"And you have no idea where she is? Are you lying?" Damon asked harshly into the cell phone. An affronted voice hissed through it. Damon clenched his fists tightly.

"No I'm not going to calm down! The woman I love has been missing for a month! How am I supposed to calm down!"

A light tap sounded on the other side of the study's door.

Damon grunted loudly and the door slowly opened.

A short, grubby man looked in warily and Damon pointed to his cell and mouthed 'Just one second.'

"Ok, ok. I didn't mean to take it out on you Jeremy. Just…just let me know if you hear anything. Thanks."

Damon ended the call and set the cell down with a soft clang on the desk.

"So," he said wearily, addressing the man. "Any news?"

The man waddled in to stand on the other side of Damon's large desk and fidgeted with a portfolio in his hands.

"There have been a few sightings of a young woman in Atlanta—people say she wanders around the town, mumbling to herself—apparently lost her mind."

Damon's heart raced.

"Show me the picture!" His voice was loud and urgent.

"Oh! Yes, yes of course." The man, shaking and sneaking wary glances up at Damon, laid out the portfolio on the desk and took out a picture of a young brunette huddled by an abandoned warehouse, wrapped tightly in a moth eaten shawl.

Damon's head pounded as he took the picture and held it closer.

His heart sank.

The girl had bright green eyes, pale white skin and her hair was chopped short.

It was not Elena.

He sighed.

Out of relief.

And out of misery.

She was still missing.

He threw the picture roughly back at the man.

"It's not her!" He roared. "Elena has BROWN eyes and OLIVE skin! Have you even glanced at the picture I gave you?"

The man trembled and took out a white handkerchief. "Y-yes Mr. Salvatore." He wiped the sweat off his grimy forehead. "I merely thought…"

Damon cleared off everything in his desk in a mad rage. "I THOUGHT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE THE BEST PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR IN THE SOUTH! GET OUT! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!"

The man didn't need telling twice.

He ran off with a squeak and Damon fell into his chair, panting loudly.

The picture of the crazy girl had somehow managed to get under his shoe.

He raised his foot and took the picture in his hands.

Right now, he'd give anything for this girl to be Elena.

He needed her. He needed her now.

He would keep looking.

He'd hire more human PI's while still searching on his own throughout the night.

That was when he spent endless amount of hours flying across the sky as a crow searching and searching for any sign of her.

He would find her.

He had to bring Elena back home.

**MONTH 2**

Alaric parked his car next to Damon's in the paved driveway and yawned heavily before turning the warm car off. Cold air immediately seeped in and Alaric shivered. He glanced at his watch.

5:30 a.m.

Whatever made Damon text him must have been urgent. Hopefully it was good news.

Alaric reluctantly stepped out of his car and into the icy cold. Snow lined the path to the front porch and Alaric felt a pang of pain as he looked up at the small home.

Damon had set up Christmas lights and, by the way the lights twinkled in rhythm as if following the beat of the song, he had taken quite a bit of effort in it.

In the small patch of yard in the front, Damon had made a snowman. Yes, a snowman—complete with a carrot nose, button eyes and a checkered scarf.

Swallowing, Alaric opened the front door quietly with his spare key and relished in the warmth, closing his eyes to take it all in—momentarily forgetting the torment of his friend.

But alas, it was only momentarily.

As soon as Alaric opened his eyes and came face to face with the scene before him, he felt the strong urge to cry.

Yes, he wanted to cry—shed actual hot tears.

The entire house was in a state of winter wonderland. Garland hung over the stair railings, red bows were strung on every dining chair, two stockings hung over a crackling fireplace, and a giant tree stood in the middle of the room, every single branch decorated with bright lights, colored ornaments, silver tinsel and even strings of popcorn.

It was beautiful.

And it was also the most depressing thing he had ever seen.

And he wanted to cry because the house—decorations, snowman, everything—was EXACTLY decorated in the same way it had been last year. When Elena had still been here.

He heard a loud clatter then a voice call out his name from the garage. Alaric wiped his eyes with the sleeves of his sweater and headed in the direction of his friend.

Damon sat cross-legged in the middle of the freezing garage surrounded by a hectic array of newspaper clippings, photos, maps, and little leather-bound books.

He looked up at Alaric and grinned. But the smile didn't reach his eyes—not even close. He was thinner and scruffier than the last time Alaric had seen him, about two weeks ago, and there were large, dark circles under his eyes.

"Hey. Sorry for the early call. Couldn't wait." He patted the only spot on the ground that wasn't covered with something. "Sit down, I need your help…"

They spent the next hour or so going through the newspaper clippings and supposed sightings of different oddities. Alaric knew what Damon was looking for—what he feared.

That Elena wasn't simply missing—that she was being held hostage by something supernatural. Vampires, werewolves, etc. Even though Klaus had been defeated three years ago, Damon's eyes still flashed red whenever he was mentioned. No lifetimes would erase the pain Klaus had afflicted upon Elena—upon all of them.

Although Alaric pretty much always trusted Damon's judgment and detective work—he had after all, along with his brother Stefan, established an organization dedicated to surveying whereabouts of supernatural entities—Alaric couldn't help wondering whether his friend's diagnosis was wrong.

The scenario Damon had described about Elena's departure seemed…normal of that of a breakup. It hadn't seemed that Elena had been threatened or compelled. Perhaps, the trauma of the previous years had caught up with her and she had wanted out. Out of the supernatural world and into a normal, human life.

When he had mentioned this to Damon, Alaric thought for a second that Damon was going to hit him.

He had, thankfully, restrained himself but repeated again and again the same words.

"She loved me. Elena loved me. I swore I wouldn't forget that…I swore…"

Alaric could only sigh and continue aiding Damon in the hysteric search for Elena.

But he couldn't blame Damon or be angry with him.

He knew how much Damon loved her.

He'd known even before Damon had known himself.

Elena was his world.

After all their obstacles, suffering and trials—Elena had finally realized that she couldn't live without Damon and had confessed her love.

Alaric remembered the goofy, silly grin Damon had worn once when they met up for drinks at the grill. He and Elena had just moved in together into this small, but very cozy, home. The look on his face said it all.

Damon, for the first time in his entire life, was happy.

Alaric thought Elena had been too. She certainly seemed to be. The way she looked at Damon—fiercely, possessively and passionately.

But maybe Alaric had been wrong.

And looking down at his friend, he realized it didn't matter what he thought about Elena.

Damon loved her.

So he never said anything more about his theories or suspicions.

They worked in silence. They worked in rapid chatter.

They attempted to pinpoint the exact location and time when another supernatural event was bound to happen.

By the time dusk had fallen, Alaric's stomach grumbled so loud, he felt he might pass out from hunger.

Feeling horrible leaving Damon alone, he attempted to stay a bit longer.

He picked up one of the leather-bound books and flipped through it curiously.

It was…a diary.

He looked through the other ones.

They were all diaries.

"Damon?" He said quizzically.

Damon snapped out of his lost look and looked at the book in Alaric's hand in horror.

"Don't touch them!" Damon hastily grabbed all the little books and clutched them tightly to him.

Noticing the look on Alaric's face, Damon sighed and his face softened.

"I'm sorry. It's just—these diaries are the closest things I have to Elena right now. I've been reading them, hoping to see if maybe she inserted some sort of clue and also…I just like to imagine her voice as I read the words."

Damon gave an undistinguishable sound, which seemed to be a cross between a laugh and a sob.

"Of course, most of these are about my prick of a brother but…there is some stuff about me. The early stuff—when her heart was still conflicted. Those are my favorite bits…"

Feeling suddenly uncomfortable as if he were intruding on an intimate moment, Alaric stood up and pointed at his stomach—which gave another rumbling roar.

Damon nodded and stood up also.

Still clutching one of the diaries in his hand, Damon patted Alaric's back in appreciation.

"Thanks for being here…for helping me. Not everyone wants to help…I don't know why…"

Alaric offered what he hoped was an encouraging smile.

"I'm here till the end buddy. I'll be back tomorrow."

Damon shook his head. "I'll be flying until Christmas Eve. Want to be here in case…" He paused.

Alaric gave Damon's shoulder a squeeze and headed out.

"Feel free to have some of those chocolate chip cookies on the table. But don't eat them all! They're Elena's favorites…"

Alaric nodded and hastily walked away.

He didn't know how much more he could take of this pain and covered his ears to try to block out Damon's muttering to himself.

"She'll be home for Christmas." Damon said, his voice reassuring and hopeful. "I know she will. She loves Christmas…"

**Month 3**

It had been three months.

There's had been no laughter, no joy, no happiness inside of the little white house that stood nestled in-between a magnitude of trees in a private cul-de-sac, for three months.

The closest neighbors were completely oblivious to the absolute torment that a young vampire had been suffering through for three months in that little house.

After Elena had not shown up at the house on Christmas, Damon had torn every decoration down. Destroying it all- crushing the ornaments in his bare hand—turning the beautiful into nothing but dust.

He had locked himself, in what had been his and Elena's bedroom, ever since.

Crying.

Yes, Damon—the badass, frightening, strong vampire—had been crying for almost an entire month straight.

He'd cry for a few hours. Then he would be completely still and quiet for another few. After that, he would be tormented with nightmares—even though he was awake. And for the last few hours of the day, he would cry some more.

After coming to the painful conclusion that the diaries contained no secret, hidden message—Damon had burned them all. Save one. His favorite one.

The one where he was mentioned—the one in which Elena had slowly described how she was slowly falling for him.

He'd reread her words over and over again.

He had the entire book memorized but he wanted to LOOK at her handwriting. TOUCH the little book knowing Elena had once held it in her delicate hands.

Damon needed no other books. He needn't know any other love story—for the most romantic and most beautiful was contained in that little leather book.

His favorite part of the story? The very last entry.

_Dear Diary,_

_It's all over. Klaus and all the Originals…have been destroyed. For good. I almost can't believe it—my hands are still shaking as I write this. Oh Diary, it was horrible. So many people died. So many innocent lives were destroyed in this long three-year battle!  
>But I'm alive. And so is Jeremy! And Stefan, Bonnie, Caroline, Tyler, Alaric and, and….<em>

_And Damon._

_For several horrible minutes, I thought Damon was gone._

_Before even half of the Final Battle was fought Stefan, on Damon's orders, had taken me away from the scene—dragged me is more like it._

_When it was all over, survivors began to walk or limp over to where we were. Jeremy returned as did my friends but…Damon wouldn't show._

_Fear._

_I'd never been so afraid._

_Anxious._

_I had never been so anxious._

_I begged Stefan to let me go find him but he refused "It was too risky still"…but I could see he wanted to go himself._

_So, taking advantage that he was tending to Jeremy's wounds, I made a run for it._

_The scene in the forest was horrible._

_There was no more forest._

_Just dust, blood and dead bodies._

_I called his name._

_Just his name._

_And all was eerily silent._

_Just when I was about to completely lose it, I heard a voice._

_It was raspy and deep yet sensual and intoxicating._

"_Elena…?" It called out weakly._

_I turned and he was there._

_A few feet from each other we stood. Just looking at each other._

_He looked horrible—blood all over his torn clothing and gashed all over his face—but he was still the most beautiful man I had ever seen._

_With tears gushing out, I ran to him. I jumped into his arms and, for having just fought the strongest vampire that had ever existed, he was strong and clutched me tightly to him._

"_I thought I'd never see your face again…" _

_That's what he said to me. His blue eyes were so full of emotion and so full of love—I don't know why it took me so long to realize it._

_Yes I know Diary, you must be rolling your eyes at me. I used to rant about how much I hated him—how I wish I'd never met him._

_But now Diary…now things are different._

_Damon is different. He's changed in these last few years and so have I._

_Don't get me wrong, he's still the same snarky and vain git that I first met but…he's also…intelligent, brave, passionate and…so…so gorgeous._

_I never noticed just how much until he was holding me in his arms and I was caressing his wounds on his face softly._

_In that moment, I finally accepted what I had been denying for so long._

_What I had been trying so desperately to fight._

"_Thank you." I whispered to him. _

_He looked at me with the most adorable expression on his face. "For what?" He asked confused._

"_For coming back to me."_

_He stroked my cheek and, with a lone tear running down his face, said, "At the end of the day, I'll always go back to my home. You, Elena. You are my home."_

_And I finally said the words he had longed so long to hear._

"_I love you Damon."_

_And I kissed him and he kissed me back._

_It was perfect that kiss._

_And I knew the second our lips touched, that I would always love Damon Salvatore._

_No matter what happens, I will never stop loving him… and I know….he will never stop loving me. _

_He'll always come back home._

Damon's lip trembled as he lowered the diary and broke down once again.

Those were the last words Elena had written.

Damon couldn't find another diary—that was all.

That's where her story ended—where **their** story had begun.

He stood and threw the diary with all his force (which wasn't very much) against the opposite wall.

He immediately regretted the action and ran toward the diary.

It lay on the floor, open to the very last page.

_No matter what happens, I will never stop loving him…and I know…he will never stop loving me._

Gently, Damon picked up the book and pressed it to his heart.

"No, Elena. Never…"

All of a sudden, the doorknob started jiggling. Someone was trying to get inside.

He hastily tucked the book in his back pocket and yelled.

"Who's there? What do you want? GO AWAY!"

"It your brother you idiot! Open the damn door!"

"Just go away Stefan!" Damon yelled, clearly annoyed.

"Come one Damon!" Yelled another softer voice. "You can't stay locked in there forever! You can't give up!"

"I HAVEN'T GIVEN UP!" Damon shouted. "But…there's no point in searching anymore…she doesn't want to be found…"

The door fell forward with a bang as the combined strength of Stefan and Caroline knocked it down.

"You don't mean that," Caroline said sadly.

Damon looked at her and saw that her eyes were not so unlike his own, filled with sadness and grief. She too had lost someone special—her best friend.

"No, I don't."

Damon turned his gaze over to Stefan—who was openly gaping at him.

"What?" Damon snapped, not appreciating the scrutiny.

"It's just…you're _so_…_so_…"

"Thin." Caroline said, finishing for him. She too was ogling him, but not in a way Damon was used too. "Have long has it been since, um, you've, um, feed?"

Noting how well fed and well-groomed Stefan was, Damon answered with a gruff, "Can't remember."

Stefan scrunched his brow in worry. "How long has it been since you slept?"

"Three months to be exact." Damon retorted harshly. "Now if you two are done with the interrogation, I've got things to do—"

"THREE MONTHS?" Caroline and Stefan both shouted together. If they had looked worried and concerned before, it was nothing compared to how they looked now.

Now Damon was pissed.

"Do you really expect me to sleep when Elena—the love of my life, my reason for existence, the woman who means EVERYTHING to me—is missing? Is gone? Is NOT BY MY SIDE?"

Caroline and Stefan stared at him, completely taken aback.

"When I finally do sleep again, it'll be because Elena's finally back at my side or because…"

Damon gulped and his voice lowered to a whisper. "Or because she's dead. That's when I'll sleep again because I'll go with her—follow her wherever she goes…"

Caroline let out a whimper and Stefan squeezed her hand comfortingly. He whispered something in her ear and Caroline whispered a hushed, "I know we can't. I know…"

Damon sighed loudly.

"I know you're just trying to help me—but nothing can help me. Nothing can make me smile or laugh or eat or sleep—nothing but having Elena back. I will keep looking for her, I will keep searching…I WILL find her. I HAVE to find her. I-I've kept close to this house because I was sure she would come back to it. This is our home. So I thought. But her home…is in my arms. And my home? Is in hers. I'll find her and when she sees me again, she'll realize it too."

* * *

><p>"So? How do I look?"<p>

Elena did a little spin in front of the large mirror, her eyes amused at the conflicting emotions in her brothers' face.

He didn't want to lie, but he didn't want to be honest either.

Elena turned around to face him and crossed her arms.

"Oh just say it. I look awful."

Jeremy eyes widened and he shook his head frantically.

"No, no, no! You look beautiful!" She shot him an incredulous glare and Jer nodded his head even more rapidly. "Honest Elena! You're still the prettiest girl in the entire world!"

Elena rolled her eyes. "Okay, now I know you're lying."

He opened his mouth to protest once again but Elena spoke before he could.

"It's ok Jeremy! Its just hair."

She turned back around to face the mirror again and stared skeptically at her new hair 'do.

Her hair, which had always been long, silky and glossy, was now short (reaching just above her ears) and choppy but luckily, still retained some of that gloss.

She smoothed a stray hair down with a dab of saliva and smiled at her brother standing behind her in the reflection.

He smiled back but Elena could still tell he was glum.

In an attempt to make him really smile, Elena held out the sides of her long, flowing nightgown and spun around again in the form of a ballerina. But she lost her balance and stumbled into Jeremy instead.

He immediately grew worried.

"Are you alright? Does something hurt? Should I call—"

"NO!" Elena shouted. She gently pushed back from Jeremy but took his hand and squeezed it. "I just lost my balance a bit! Nothing to worry about!"

She released his arm and turned back to her reflection. She tried making Jeremy laugh by posing in various, scandalous ways but Jeremy hardly blinked.

Elena knew when she had lost a battle.

She glared at him in the mirror and crossed her arms again.

"I said I was fine Jeremy! Seriously, one little stumble and—"

"It's not that." Jeremy interrupted.

"Okay…" Elena said slowly, dragging the word out. "Then what's on your mind? Spill."

Jeremy sighed.

"It's just. There's not much time left until, well, you know and…"

"And we've talked about it Jer," Elena smiled sadly. "I'm ready, truly, I am."

"No, I don't think you are Elena." Jeremy said roughly, his tone of voice surprising Elena. He'd always been very soft spoken and gentle with her. "And neither is HE! HE doesn't even know that, that—"

"STOP IT JEREMY!" Elena spun around so quickly, she quite nearly almost lost her balance again but thankfully, she kept steady. She narrowed her eyes. "You promised me! You swore you wouldn't tell him!"

Jeremy didn't even bat an eyelash at the finger wagging in his face.

"And I've kept my promise. But you have no idea how hard it's been! You have no idea how many times I've wanted to grab him and bring—"

"You wouldn't!" Elena squeaked, her eyes round and frightened.

"No. I wouldn't. Because my loyalty is to you first, always." Jeremy inched closer to her, his face pleading. "He has to know. He hasn't eaten or slept in three months!"

Elena's entire body tensed. "He-he hasn't?" She asked quietly.

Jeremy shook his head sadly. "People say he's gone mad. Talks to himself like a lunatic. They say he makes sure he's home at exactly 6p.m. because you always hated it when he was late to dinner. He hasn't cut his hair because only you know how to cut it. I reckon your hair is a whole lot nicer than his."

Jeremy watched Elena's face register all this closely.

Shock. Fear. Sadness. Pity. Worry. And…yes. Yes, there's—

But Elena's face once more became impassive, uncaring, and emotionless.

"He'll get over it soon enough," Elena said stiffly. "Trust me Jeremy, it's better this way. And like you said, it'll be over soon anyway. Soon…this will all have been just some bad dream for him and he'll wake up. You'll see Jer, you'll see…"

* * *

><p><strong><em>Part two will be posted shortly.<em>**


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thank you so much for all those who read and for the positive feedback-it means so much to me. Here's the final part to the story-I hope it's not too horrible or too cheesy.

* * *

><p><strong><span>We Might Not Make It Home Tonight<span>**

**Month 4**

"_No peeking Mr. Salvatore!" Elena shouted, her voice faraway._

"_I would never!" He responded apparently insulted._

_He heard Elena's soft chuckle before the sound of her footsteps faded away._

_Damon grinned as he pressed his forehead to the wall, facing away from the angelic creature and began the count to 30._

_1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 30! _

"_Ready or not, here I come!" He shouted dramatically. _

_He walked quietly around the small house, concentrating on the sound of—there it was!_

_THUMP THUMP_

_THUMP THUMP_

_Damon's favorite sound-Elena's steady heartbeat._

"_GOTCHA!"_

_He threw open the shower curtain, nearly ripping it off completely, and….the tub was empty._

_But, he had heard her heartbeat?_

_Where did she—_

"_Gotcha!"_

_Elena, out of nowhere, had pounced on his back and was giggling like a hyena._

"_I win! I finally outsmarted you at my favorite game!"_

_Damon smirked._

"_Fine you win. This time. Now let's see who wins at MY favorite game…"_

_Elena jumped down and Damon turned around to face her. _

_They locked eyes and now, Damon was sure that was HIS heart that was beating so loud._

_She took his breath away._

_She was beautiful. Perfect. Radiant._

_And she was __**his**__._

_She bit her lip and smiled up at him mischievously._

"_And now what game might that be Mr. Salvatore?"_

_Damon waggled his eyebrows._

"_Oh I think it might be one of your favorites too…"_

_He scooped her up and rushed them both to the bedroom._

_He set his princess down gently on the bed and straddled her carefully._

_Her pupils were dilated and her breathing shallow._

_She was excited._

_She was anxious._

_He tucked a stray strand of her silky hair behind her ear and whispered sensually, "Have you guessed what game it is yet Ms. Gilbert?"_

_Elena let out a little moan._

"_I think I have an idea…"_

"_Then let's play," Damon said._

_Then, without warning, the right side of Elena's face was struck by a pillow!_

_She gasped and saw Damon grinning down at her._

_She glared at him._

"_You little—"_

_She smacked him back with another pillow and the two continued the battle until not a single feather was left in any of the pillows._

_Still clutching her side that had cramped from laughing so hard, Elena laid her head on Damon's chest as he lay on his back on the giant bed._

_They lay there for a while; just listening to each other's heartbeats but suddenly, Elena felt her stomach become queasy with emotion._

_Noticing her change in breathing, Damon shifted their bodies so that they were facing each other on their sides._

"_What's wrong princess?"_

_Elena looked deep into his bright, blue eyes and felt herself melting into a puddle. She loved when he looked at her like that—which was, all the time._

"_I just—I love you too much Damon." She looked away embarrassed._

"_Is that, um, a bad thing?" Damon asked warily. When she didn't answer he tenderly placed a finger and her chin and made her look up at him again._

"_Yes and no."_

_Damon waited patiently for her to explain herself._

"_It's just," she sighed. "This love I have for you, it's unlike anything I've ever felt before. It's the strongest, most powerful most consuming feeling in the world. I sometimes feel like I'm drowning in my love for you."_

"_That's beautiful Elena," Damon said, his eyes twinkling happily. "How could that possibly be bad?"_

_Elena reached up and lightly caressed his face._

"_Because if I ever lost you, I don't think I could go on without you. All of me, would die with you."_

_They stared at each other solemnly._

_Damon leaned in and gave her a sweet kiss on her soft lips._

"_I would follow you anywhere Elena, even into death."_

_Elena felt her heart soar with more love than she ever thought possible._

_She leaned in and returned the kiss—though much more passionate and much more urgent. _

_And Damon returned it just the same._

Elena woke up with a start. She raised her fingers up to her lips, where she could still feel his taste lingering there.

What has she done?

What did she do?

But before she could think anymore, pain engulfed her completely and she let out an ear splitting scream.

* * *

><p>Damon touched his lips gingerly. He could almost still feel her. He could almost still taste her.<p>

But almost wasn't enough. It wasn't nearly enough.

He sped up his pace as he walked down the street, ignoring the murmurs and whispers that followed him like hawks.

He kept his hands in his pockets, determined to keep under control, and remained unflinching as harsh words made their way to his ears.

Words like:

"Crazy."

"Nutter!"

"Depressed…"

And sentences such as:

"Poor guy…"

"What's he got tied around his waist?"

"She just got up one morning and left him! Just like that!"

"Why would anyone leave _him_?"

"I remember when they'd walk to that park together on Sunday afternoons. She was a very pretty girl, always laughing…"

"HA! Look at his beard!"

Damon stroked his chin. The beard wasn't immensely thick or horribly long. Just slightly unkempt and scruffy. Itchy too.

Bonnie had chased him with a pair of scissors the last time he had visited the boarding house—she was living there with Jeremy (who, according to Alaric, was hardly ever seen.)

Bonnie was quick for a witch. Then again, he wasn't very fast for a vampire. Not anymore.

He had only finally got her off his back when he had promised to shower.

He always kept his promises.

Damon let out a shaky sigh. He finally had reached his destination—the park one of the passerby had mentioned; the park where he and Elena had gone to almost every Sunday afternoon. She loved the swings while he, on the other hand, preferred the slide.

He sat down on one of the empty benches and quietly looked around.

Children were laughing and having the time of their lives.

Parents were reading their newspapers or gossiping with each other while still keeping a close watch on their kids in case of any trouble.

The park was so alive.

And he, he was so dead.

"Hey Damon."

Damon peered his eyes away from the various activities on the playground and greeted his friend with a slight nod.

"Any news?" Alaric asked kindly.

Damon stood up and untied the jacket around his waist.

"I found this in a Goodwill about an hour away from here. I smelled it from 50 feet away…"

He extended the jacket carefully, his hands shaking slightly.

It was a thick, ugly yellow raincoat.

"It was her favorite jacket," Damon said throatily.

"Why would she dispose of it?" Damon muttered to himself, his eyebrows furrowed.

"Damon, um, have you thought anymore about what I said the other day?"

Damon looked up and stared at Alaric in silence for several long minutes.

He finally broke his gaze and nodded slowly.

"Ok, I'll do it."

Alaric breathed a sigh of relief.

"When can we go?" Damon asked, tying the jacket around his waist again.

"We can go now, if you'd like. The healer said he'd take you in whenever." Alaric suddenly grinned. "He's heard about you. You should've seen the look on his face."

"I assume he looked scared."

"Not at all!" Alaric exclaimed. "Apparently, you're a hero to him and his family. He said he won't even charge you instead, he'd like an autograph for his daughter!"

Damon raised an eyebrow. "Me, a hero?" He shook his head as he followed Alaric to the parking lot. "And _this_ guy is apparently supposed to help me?"

Alaric chuckled. "He's not a psychiatrist. He's a supernatural healer. Knows all about vampires—loves them. He runs some sort of secret hospital/sanctuary where any vampire is welcome. Opened sometime during the war, I think."

Damon widened his eyes impressed.

"How did you find it?"

"I didn't," Alaric confessed. "Meredith did."

They reached Alaric's car and both got in—Damon in the passenger seat.

"So, things are going well with Buffy the vampire slayer?"

Alaric rolled his eyes.

"Fortunately she hasn't had to slay any vampires as of late but yes, Meredith and I are great—more than great."

Damon looked at him curiously. Alaric was turning a bright red.

"I, um, I proposed to her last night. And um, she said yes."

Damon eyes widened, startled at the news.

"That's great Ric." Damon said through his teeth, hoping his smile was convincing. "Really great."

They sat in mostly silence for the rest of the ride, something Damon appreciated.

He was happy for his friend; he truly was, but he couldn't help but feel a stab of jealousy. Alaric could be with the woman he loved but Damon couldn't.

Damon swallowed thickly. He hoped this doctor/healer person would be able to help him—apparently he had created a special type of blood for vampires that would give him extensive amounts of energy and strength.

Damon needed all the energy and strength he could get as he still hadn't been feeding or sleeping.

He hadn't given up on finding Elena.

They finally arrived to a large, country home completely surrounded and hidden from the rest of the world, in the heart of a large forest.

There were a few people strolling around the luscious gardens in the front and others sitting on a porch, just watching the activity with a lost look in their eyes.

Whatever Damon had been expecting to find, it hadn't been this.

Alaric and him made their way up the large steps and proceeded inside.

It looked like the entrance to any regular home, expect much bigger and much cleaner.

Everything was spotless and in place.

It was disconcerting.

"We're here to see Healer Vidornick," Alaric said to the petite redhead at a counter Damon hadn't noticed.

The lady dabbed her eyes lightly with a napkin and let out a small sniffle. "It might be a bit of a wait. One of the patients got very ill and he's been tending to her all morning. He doesn't think she'll make it."

Alaric shifted uncomfortably. "Oh, I'm really sorry…"

He turned to Damon. "Should we just come back tomorrow?"

But Damon wasn't looking at him. He was staring down a hallway, his body rigid, and his eyes opened ridiculously wide.

"Damon?" Alaric asked concerned. "What did you see?"

But Damon heard nothing Alaric had said. He sprinted down the hallway and grabbed a young man roughly by the arm.

"Ow! What the hell—"

The young man froze.

"D-Damon," he stuttered nervously.

Damon was at loss for words.

Alaric reached them, panting with the redhead close behind.

"What are—" He too, froze. "Jeremy? What are you doing here?"

Jeremy's eyes were red and he looked almost as thin as Damon. He gulped and ran a hand through his disheveled brown locks.

"I, um, I'm visiting."

"Visiting? Who are you—" Alaric's mouth dropped. "No…" He whispered.

Jeremy wrung his hands together frantically, panic all over his face.

"I didn't want—I never thought—" Jeremy started.

"Take me." Damon said, his blue eyes bored into Jeremy's. "Please," he added in a desperate whisper.

Jeremy let out a long sigh.

He waved off the nurse. "It's fine Hanna. I'll take them."

He turned around and slowly walked down the corridor. Damon followed closely, his heart racing.

Jeremy halted in front of a wooden door and knocked twice softly. A bell rung from inside and Jeremy turned the knob slowly. He walked inside and motioned Ric and Damon to follow him.

The room was no ordinary bedroom.

It was quite large, with its own fireplace and kitchen.

It had been decorated quite nicely, with expensive looking furniture and various paintings, but was uncomfortably warm. Even for him.

There was a massive bed in the very back of the room, right in front of the wall-to-ceiling windows. A small figure was sitting on the bed staring outside; her legs were bent and her chin rested on her knees.

She wore a long-sleeved, white nightgown and had on very thick long johns underneath.

"Hey," Jeremy said softly.

The girl let out a long sigh. She placed her hand on the window and closed her eyes as she felt the warmth of the sun hit her skin. She shivered.

"Would you like another blanket?" Jeremy asked, his forehead creased in worry.

She nodded and then, slowly turned her head around.

"There's…one in—"

She froze.

Alaric gasped.

Damon fell to his knees.

It was _her_.

It was **Elena**.

They stared at each other, paralyzed—unable to speak, unable to move.

Jeremy pushed Alaric gently out the door, leaving the two star-crossed lovers alone.

Damon could taste his tears on his tongue—he was crying. He didn't know when he started…he only knew he couldn't stop.

She looked _so_…**beautiful**.

She was unnaturally thin and pale and had even darker circles under her eyes than he did.

But she was still absolutely _gorgeous_.

Her brown eyes, that were usually sparkling and full of laughter, were bloodshot and lifeless.

Her hair, that he had loved to run his fingers through, was short—barely reaching below her earlobe.

But she was still absolutely _breathtaking._

"You—you found me," Elena whispered, her face glistening with tears. "I—I told you not to look for me."

Damon stood up, his legs wobbling, and cautiously approached her.

"When have I ever listened to you?" Damon said croakily.

Elena stared at him in panic as Damon reached her bed.

"You should've Damon," she said, her voice shaking. "Go!" She shouted, her eyes blazing. "Go now! Forget you ever saw me!"

Damon's eyes flashed angrily.

"NO! I'M NEVER LEAVING YOU ELENA! I'M NEVER LETTING YOU GO AGAIN! NEVER!"

They stood a few feet away from each other-Damon at her bedside and Elena on her knees on the bed-their chests heaving.

Elena shuffled closer to the edge of her bed and started hitting Damon's chest weakly with her tiny fists.

She yelled and cried hysterically until Damon took hold of her small face and placed his lips over hers, kissing her hard.

Her hands relaxed and wrapped themselves around his neck, bringing him closer to her.

She opened her mouth and immediately felt Damon's warm tongue snake its way inside—happily reuniting with hers.

She let out a moan as Damon's right hand lowered down her body and wrapped around her tiny waist. His lips left her mouth and he gently nibbled down her neck. Elena trembled in his arms and inched even closer to him.

She wrapped her legs around his thin torso and he placed his hands under her bum, squeezing gently, and lifted her off the bed.

He kissed her feverishly.

He ravished her mouth and his hands caressed every inch of her body.

She suddenly pulled back and started coughing…and coughing…and coughing.

"Put…put me on…" She nodded towards the bed and Damon quickly set her down.

She continued to cough into her blankets—staining them with red.

Damon felt his heart drop.

Fear settled in every pore of his body.

"Elena!" He exclaimed panicked. "What's wrong? What can I do?"

The coughing finally subsided and Elena leaned her head against the bed headboard.

"Nothing…" she said weakly.

Damon touched the red spot on her bedspread—blood.

He stared at her, absolutely horrified.

She stared back sadly.

"Why did you look for me?" She asked miserably.

"Because I love you." Damon stated simply. He reached out and took her small hand in his. "Why did you leave?"

Tears welled up in her eyes. "Because I love you."

Damon creased his forehead and gaped at her. "I don't—"

"ELENA!"

The door to Elena's bedroom flew open and several people barged in.

Caroline meant to fling herself at Elena but suddenly stopped short upon seeing Damon.

Bonnie and Stefan froze behind her.

Damon whipped his head from Elena to Caroline and stood up slowly.

"You knew?" He whispered. Caroline's eyes widened like a deer caught in headlights. "YOU ALL KNEW!"

His chest heaved painfully as angry tears ran down his face.

"YOU KNEW WHERE SHE WAS ALL THIS TIME! WHILE I WAS FRANTICALLY SEARCHING FOR HER—WHILE PEOPLE THOUGHT I WAS GOING MAD?"

The three of them hung their heads.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE IT…." Damon shouted furiously and maniacally while pacing the room. "I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!"

He picked up a small dresser and threw it as hard as he could across the room.

"Damon…" Elena called faintly from her bed.

Damon whipped his head around and saw that she was extending a small hand to him—reaching out to him.

He dropped the lamp he had picked up and walked to her. She squeezed his hand weakly and pulled him toward her.

"Don't get…angry…" Elena said with difficulty. "I…made them…swear."

Damon's lip trembled. "But WHY Elena?"

Elena sighed. She looked over at her friends and taking the hint, they grudgingly exited the room.

"Why Elena?" Damon asked again.

Elena tugged at his hand and Damon climbed onto her bed.

She rested her head onto his chest and inhaled deeply.

His scent was intoxicating.

"Damon…I'm…dying…" Elena whispered feebly.

Damon's heart stopped.

"Wha—what?"

Before she could answer, Elena started coughing again and this time, she didn't stop. Blood spurted from her mouth and Damon yelled frantically.

Several people ran in, including his five friends.

A large, heavyset man placed the back of his hand on Elena's forehead while a nurse checked her pulse.

She told the man the reading and the man shook his head sadly.

"How much longer?" Stefan asked solemnly.

"Better say your goodbyes," the Healer said quietly. "She won't make it past the night."

Stefan hugged a shaking Caroline tightly as Bonnie sobbed loudly into Jeremy's chest.

The Healer looked down at Elena sadly, before exiting with the nurse.

"Can someone tell me what the hell is happening?" Damon shouted hysterically.

He felt a gentle tug at his shirt and looked down at his angel. Elena raised a trembling hand and pointed towards her bedside drawer.

"Open…" She whispered weakly.

Damon nodded and placed a soft kiss on her forehead before getting off the bed and opening the drawer.

The drawer was crammed to the very top, filled with various items.

He recognized these items.

-The beloved teddy bear that her mother had given to her.

-The stuffed Koala that Damon had given her when Stefan had run away with Klaus.

-The vervain necklace that Stefan had originally given to her but that had eventually become a symbol of trust between her and Damon.

-The ring John had left for her after he had died.

-Damon's bright blue shirt that Damon had assumed he'd just lost. It had been Elena's favorite on him.

And pictures. There were so many pictures. Of her family. Of her friends. But mostly, there were pictures of them.

-Damon going down the slide, his hands in the air.

-Elena and Damon posing in front of their silly looking snowman.

-Damon standing in the kitchen with a sheepish look, cookie dough all over his face and clothes.

-Damon soundly sleeping bare-chested on their bed.

She hadn't forgotten him either.

And then he spotted it.

A little leather-bound book.

Her last diary.

He opened it and read the first words of the first entry.

_Dear Diary,_

_I'm so in love with Damon Salvatore!_

"Read…it…all," Elena said hoarsely.

And he did.

Damon sat at one of the comfortable, plush couches reading, while each of Elena's loved ones spoke with her—saying goodbye.

The past three years were all in this little book.

300 pages of **their** life.

He read how happy she was with him—how much she loved him. He read how she dreamed of marrying him and maybe adopting a child someday. He read how she knew she would turn one day. But she had to wait until Damon was ready to turn her.

The he read about how she started to notice her body getting weaker. He read how she coughed blood in the shower and the doctors didn't note anything different.

He read how she visited a supernatural Healer and he diagnosed her with an incurable disease. It had entered her system sometime during the war and had slowly been killing her for three years. It was a sort of cancer—a supernatural cancer. Her ring couldn't save her and turning would only kill her faster.

The Healer had given her six months to live.

Damon read her agony as she debated when or if she should tell him. She felt her frustration and saw the spots where her tears had fallen upon the pages.

_I can't let Damon die with me._

_Knowing this…and knowing nothing can be done…would destroy him._

_I won't make him go through this with me! I won't!_

_If I just leave, he'll eventually forget about me._

_He'll eventually move on with his life and find someone else with whom to share his life with._

Damon read how much it had pained her to pack her suitcase and fake her anger with Damon. He read how she had told Jeremy and, eventually, her other friends and made them swear not to tell Damon anything. Nor Alaric. She knew Alaric would tell Damon the truth.

He read how she died slowly each day. He read as she described her nightmares and her despair. She missed him so much. She cried herself to sleep every night. She realized she preferred death than to live without him.

_The healer says I have less than a week left._

_I just want it to be over._

_Not because I want my body to stop hurting._

_Not because I'm sick of coughing blood._

_Not because I'm constantly freezing._

_I want it to be over…because I can no longer handle living without Damon._

_Part of me hopes Damon has moved on and forgotten me._

_But another part, a selfish part, hopes that Damon is still out there searching for me. _

_Oh if I could see him once more._

_Oh if I could kiss him one last time._

Damon closed the book and looked down at his shirt. It was completely soaked with tears.

He looked over at Elena.

She was whispering something to Jeremy as he sobbed loudly.

He finally stood up and kissed Elena on the forehead before being led out by Bonnie.

The room was now empty.

And it was dark.

He dragged his feet across the room and made his way to Elena's bedside.

She smiled up at him and patted the spot next to her.

Damon wiped his eyes and crawled in next to her under the covers.

Elena immediately curled into him and sighed happily.

Damon wrapped an arm around her and pulled her closer to him. He bit his lip, drawing blood, so that he could resist crying out.

He blinked furiously, attempting to avoid shedding any more tears.

But failing miserably.

Her small, fragile body was so cold.

Damon placed little kisses all over her head, running his fingers through her short hair.

He remembered reading how she had been so self-conscious of the way chemo had made her long locks disappear.

"I love your hair like this." He whispered. "You look beautiful."

Elena nuzzled his chest with her nose. "Don't…lie…"

"I would never lie to you," Damon said softly.

He felt fresh tears seep through his shirt.

"I….know…"

Elena gave a little whimper.

"I…am….sorry…"

Damon shushed her and rubbed her back soothingly.

"Don't Elena. You don't need to apologize. I understand…I understand why. Shh..shh. Relax…just relax…"

They lay there in silence…just listening to each other's heartbeats.

The sound of her heartbeat was still his favorite.

"Da….mon…?" Elena murmured weakly.

"Yes princess?"

"Why…didn't you…ever count…to thirty?"

Damon lowered his body on the bed to place a tender kiss on her lips.

"Because I couldn't stand to be without you for more than 3 seconds. Any longer and I'd go insane."

Elena smiled and puckered her lips up at him. He captured them in a sweet kiss, until Elena lost her breath and pulled away.

"I'm…going…to go hide…again," Elena managed to say in between coughs.

Damon's heart raced in panic.

"No….don't go Elena," he pleaded frantically. "I just got you back."

Elena touched his face tenderly. "Just…count to 30…for real…and then…come…find me…"

The meaning of her words dawned on him and he nodded slowly.

"I will Elena. I'll find you. Go hide."

Elena wiped away one of his tears and smiled. "No…peeking…"

Damon gazed deeply into her brown eyes for several long seconds before he slowly closed his own.

She rested onto his chest and sighed.

Everything became quiet.

And then Damon realized, that he no longer heard her heartbeat.

**Month 5**

"Here is the testament and here…are your keys."

Damon handed over the little silver keys to the eager, happy couple standing in front of him.

The husband shook Damon's hand excitedly and Damon couldn't help but smile.

"Thank you so much sir! I'm so glad you allowed us to buy this beautiful house at a price so low! My wife, she would have been heartbroken if we couldn't have gotten it! She fell in love with it right away you see…"

Damon waved his hand to stop the man from talking.

"Don't worry about it! You don't have to thank me! I just wanted to ensure that someone worthy would become its owners. This house—"

Damon looked up at the cozy little white house.

"This house is very special."

He cleared his throat.

"Well, go on then! Go start making some memories!"

The couple ran off hand in hand towards the house, shouting their thanks behind their shoulders.

Damon chuckled then slowly began walking in the opposite direction.

He looked up at the sky as he walked and sighed happily as he felt the sun's rays hit his face.

It was time.

He turned into the cemetery and made his way over to the tombstone that was surrounded by roses.

Jeremy came every other day to replace the withering roses with fresh ones. He had sworn to never let a flower die on Elena's grave.

Damon kneeled before the small mound and read the words engraved on Elena's headstone.

**She walks in beauty, like the night.**

**A mind at peace with all below, **

**A heart whose love is innocent.**

He smiled and ran his fingers through each word.

"Ready or not," he whispered, his eyes twinkling. "Here I come."

He slowly took off his ring and set it down on the ground.

He leaned his head back and closed his eyes—already feeling the sun penetrating through his skin.

He smiled.

He'd be home soon.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Thank you for reading!<strong>_


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